Brian Clark, of Copyblogger, asked his readers to submit article headlines as part of a headline improvement tutorial. I submitted the following headline, and Brian kindly offered his expert advice.
Here’s Brian’s revision and his reasoning behind the choice.
Here’s How You Improved My Blog
“When both addressing and referring to the reader, it’s better to speak directly to them, even though it’s likely not every reader contributed a suggestion. Remember, it’s a conversation. You wouldn’t normally refer to someone you’re speaking to in the third person.
“With so many “how” headlines out there, I like to add “Here’s” as a preface. It adds specificity to the headline promise without resorting to a numerical list approach.
“I debated whether to use “this” instead of “my” when referring to the blog the content is hosted on, and ended up sticking with my due to the contrast with you. I also removed the word helped; if the blog was improved due to the suggestions of readers, helped is superfluous and the resulting headline is more powerful.”
Brian goes on to help other readers with their headlines and you can read the full Headline Remix Madness post here.
Thanks Brian. Much appreciated.